Loading Selected Work...

Day One: Breaking Out Of The Gravitational Force Field of L.A.

Day One: Breaking Out Of The Gravitational Force Field of L.A.

Finally escaped the gravitational force field. Sunday night I packed and took care of all the last minute details including many loads of laundry until 5am. Slept until 7am. Dropped my half read copy of Hillary Rodham Clinton’s Living History at the library and headed to Balboa Park with the dogs to collected a fresh round of plant materials, mugwort and datura. Then grabbed the white and black sages from my garden and headed to Rebecca’s ostensibly to pick up Mango, her Chihauha whom I was delivering to her mom in Flagstaff.

I was also struggling with what to do about the fact that the brand new refrigerator, all 1.9 cubic feet and $600 of it, was no working well. At Rebecca’s we brainstormed, while being mobbed with the two giant pit bull puppies as well as Nikko the wolf who has taken a shine to me but like to give love nips. After calling around and nixing Benchmark’s $130/hr minimum labor charge, Mark at Lodgemobile not answering I decided a dry run up to Valencia would give me a chance to test the rig which I felt might be overloaded.

At this point I recognized that I was stalling in fear. Not an anxiety ridden type of fear, but just resistance. I acknowledged it and moved forward, reminding myself that I might be pleasantly surprised! I had done my best to try and take only that which seemed to contribute to my experience without being extravagant. The rig is heavy since Maybelline is a bit underpowered for the job, but she did fine and even rode a bit better being loaded. Could it be that all my planning and micromanaging every detail might pay off?

Back at Rebecca’s I thought I might leave around 10pm and so went down for a sleep from 5-9. Mind you I had only had two hours sleep the night before and felt surprisingly good. Running on adrenalin. Great drug. When I woke up at nine I knew I’d never be fit to drive all night so decided to leave in the am and head up to Wrightwood to spend the day before heading out the next night.

Then I checked the fridge and saw it was 65 degrees. Not good. Called Janet and Pat made a couple of trouble shooting suggestions about checking the fuses and making sure there was ac to the outlet. I didn’t have anything to plug in that didn’t have a wall wart of some kind, but, because I had thought of everything, had bought a cheap multi-meter at Harbor freight. The first think I noticed is that the plug was half out of the socket, and so tight there was no way it had just vibrated out. I tested the socket and sure enough, no power. I tested the other one and that was good. Casita figures that only the fridge will every be plugged into it (there’s already an external outlet) so they only wired in one side. So good going both Casita, and Camping World who didn’t bother to test once it was in. Maybe bench tested it so they know the unit works, but didn’t bother to see if it actually worked in the trailer. I’m so sick of incompetence. After being on all night it actually got down to forty degrees. Just enough to not grow botulism.

Had a good sleep from midnight to seven am or so and finally got out of Rebecca’s by a little after nine.
Again, I was very aware of the unconscious fear in the form of massive resistance and generalized low level anxiety, though by now I have dotted every possible i and crossed every possible t. I had to ask myself, “Exactly WHAT are you afraid of?” Mostly I’m afraid of breaking down and having to deal with that. And running out of money, over spending my budget, which is ridiculously small. Basically $1200 a month, providing nothing big goes wrong with the property. But again, I’ve worked my ass off and spent a lot money in the past nine months doing preventative maintenance and was up to the very last day.

My impulse was to call people and talk about the fear, but I decided instead to just sit with it, feel it, and then tell myself that, for one, shit happens, and you just deal with it as it happens, and two, that I could be surprised and things could actually work out! What a concept. I reminded myself that not only I had I planned meticulously, but that the universe had repeatedly, continually showed it’s support in ways I previously would never have believed possible. I have never experienced this kind of positive manifestation. I’ve experienced plenty of the other kind. This is something new. It’s kind of like The Secret, only that seemed to be all about about money, and though money is great, that is not what moves me or what this trip is about. This was something I could get behind. Right now, sitting here in a campground in Wrightwood, with the ground squirrels and birds, the warm gentle breeze and sounds of young girls playing in the small lake with canoes, laughing in the distance I am at peace. At peace for the first time in months. I want for nothing.

Bird Sightings:

Acorn Woodpeckers abound
Bush Tits of course
Dark Eyed Junco, possible the Oregon variety with buff breast.
Stellar Jay
And the usual suspects…

Leave a Reply